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Swiss Roll Family Robinson

Not astonished by the lack of surprise,

The day the Robinson family died

Morbidly obese.

Devoured their last feast,

Committing dietary suicide


Their buffet table laid sumptuously,

Intending to indulge in gluttony,

They wouldn't be the first

To eat till they burst

Avidly scoffed and gouged rapaciously,


A vivid green leaf salad, though not much

Lay limp inside a wooden bowl, untouched,

Trifles and jellies

Meat from the deli,

Chocolate cheesecakes, biscuits, and fudge


Large turkey thighs and a whole side of lamb.

Corned beef, pastrami, a large can of Spam.

Chilli spiced nachos

Minted potatoes

Green-lipped mussels, jumbo prawns, and some clams


Muffins, croissants, bagels and waffle cones

Fresh ham sandwiches and clotted creamed scones

Strawberry fool whip

Lemonade to sip

There are some dishes alas, still unknown


Eight men carried one bagged corpse down the drive

Placed all six in the hearse, their final ride

The axle gave way

They forgot to weigh

The total tonnage of Robinsons inside


The crematorium oven doors wouldn't close

So we buried them, stripped first of their clothes

Now forced to try it

The 'being dead' diet

A thousand years for them all to decompose


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