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Friday Night Is Date Night



We were seated at table forty-five,

Two chairs a table and a tealight,

Tucked away in the corner, sandwiched,

between two larger parties,

When I say larger!

(I don’t just mean in number).

Some of these diners were huge, just like their meals.

At one point I had to say ‘Excuse me please',

(I was blocked in)

To the party on the right,

So I could go to the gents,

Three of them had to get up

as their bodies had moulded around each other,

On my return, we did the same dance,

First, the one on the right, the smallest, then

The one next to him who couldn't stand on his own

As his knees were trapped under number one’s thighs

I didn’t say number one was small, just the smallest

Then number three stood

His belly was resting on number twos chair.

I’m not svelte, but at that moment I was Charles Atlas.

They spoke loudly about America and its justification

(for being the way they are)?

No, for the way they dealt with the pandemic.

Well, I listened, fascinated, by what was going to be said,

Turns out they were guided by Nostradamus and the Swedes,

(well as long as they don’t blame themselves, hey)!

The other numerous person party behind were local,

The accent was quite clear,

(when I say clear, I mean, not)

You already have an idea of how the language is supposed to sound.

When it doesn't quite fit, you have to work a little harder to sort it out.

And that requires mental energy,

I haven’t eaten yet, so no mental energy to spare.

The accent was clear but not one syllable of dialogue

I went back to the Americans on the oversized table.

Funny how I can understand the indigenous New Yorker,

But not the group that lives ten miles away in the Fens,

Too much watching the ‘Goodfellas

Not enough viewing of ‘Fenland Filthy as #uck

The Americans rambled, the conversation petered, laughter erupted

(I have no idea why)

They all individually must have had a thought, thought about it,

And laughed,

But they never repeated their funny thought, verbally

(So I don’t know, why they laughed).

My starter came, my main course came, no pudding

It’s better for my diabetes if I don't,

Drank beer shandy,

Better for my diabetes if I don't, but what the hell

Bill came, payment made, went home

Another great Friday night is date night



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